This goes a little deeper than just the typical "I've never had a boyfriend" post.

All my life, I've been the problem. I caused the problem, I WAS the problem. I don't have Asperger's, but due to my family situation at home, I developed very similar behavioral patterns.

Thus, I often repulsed people at school.

Once I realized I had a problem, I struggled to change it. Over the last four years, I attempted to change it. And I think I can say that I have.

But now I feel like all my effort will have gone to waste. I've grown as a person, and no one seems to care.

See, a boyfriend represents more than just a BOY. It represents someone that truly loves ME, other than my parents, because they have to love me. That I am able to be loved.

All my best friends have completely left me in the dust on this one. They've had several boyfriends, first kisses, first "iloveyous".

I just need to know, that I didn't change for nothing.

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change for yourself, not for others

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That's what everyone says, until they have to do it.

Because changing for yourself suddenly loses all merit if you do it, and everyone still treats you the same as before.

By changing for yourself, you are subconsciously changing for others.

Quote: from Anonymous at 10:07 pm on July 19, 2008

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Thank you Dalecaus and Frubeling

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You're welcome. Message me if you need chats. =)

Post edited at 3:56 pm on July 19, 2008 by Daleacus

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This state is elevating
As the hurt turns into hating.

second, don't change. and don't look for a guy either. immerse yourself in the things you love to do. more likely than not you'll meet someone who's into the same things or admires what you've done that way.

third, if your friends are constantly talking about their beaus and it bothers you, let them know. if they care, they'll try to cut back on the chatter.